Leadership Reborn

I've been pondering leadership, observing leaders, and trying to improve myself as a leader. I've spent plenty of time confused in the abyss between my apparent lack of it and acknowledgement of how it does appear in my life. At other times, I've been paying close attention to both my criticisms of leaders and my admiration for them, looking for similarities and differences between us. Finally, at least now I can form better questions about leadership. For me, that's a good thing. It means I am getting closer to better answers.

Obviously, there is no leader without followers. Well, I've got followers. I've got plenty of them in terms of my doctor work. Thousands. They are patients. I know why I lead them, what it's about, and even how I lead them. But, as far as my position as the owner of this business, for a couple of reasons it's been hard for me to identify with Being the Leader. One of the things that perplexes me is that the staff is ever-changing. Whether it's that someone got married and has moved or was fired, the staff has come and gone. I wonder if that fact invalidates me as a leader. If people don't stick around, then how well did I lead? Don't followers want to stick around their leaders, I wonder? Or, do I have an old-fashioned view? For the longest time I believed staff would come and stay forever; becoming part of the irresistible conclusion of UHI's Success. They didn't. Does that mean I’ve been a lousy leader? On the other hand, I think of the staff who've left UHI to further their education in healthcare - to become chiropractic and medical doctors, craniosacral and massage therapists, acupuncturists and physical therapists; to open their own businesses - and I realize that many of them have thanked me and generously credited me as being the main influence for their pursuit. No, they don't stick around forever, but many of them keep in touch, and enthusiastically thank me for inspiring them toward their goals, giving me titles like "mentor" and "teacher" and "leader". So, apparently, I've led them to something. If I’ve led someone by my message, example, and achievement, to be, do or have something we all value, then I've had followers. I like that. But it’s not exactly what I want out of leadership.

If leadership is predicated on a result that exemplifies (a certain amount of) material success or impact on others, I've had some experience with leadership, but it hasn't been while I was fully conscious of it. A panoply of characteristics have served me in the process of growing my company. If I have to pick a dozen off the top of my head, I'd say I've been tenacious, intense, driven, passionate, compelling, persistent, amusing, persuasive, courageous, inspired, patient and sturdy. Though some of these may suffice as leadership characteristics, it is hardly a list from the Noblesse of Leadership. My list comes to mind because it's what's been reported back to me from people who’ve worked for me or been involved with UHI. These characteristics aren't a secret. I’m conscious of how I’ve behaved, felt, and communicated. These characteristics ring true. However, I'm not satisfied. It’s just a list of characteristics. A Leader is more than the sum of her characteristics. I'd like to do it better. I'd like to be a more elegant leader; to do it with more intention and facility. I'd like to be dynamic, heroic and magnetic. Why? Maybe I'd just like people to stick around a little longer, or just feel less lonely, or to celebrate more, or to feel more appreciated, or to be proud of having made something that’s sustainable and profitable and important. Maybe I just want to be recognized. Why do leaders do what they do, anyway?

Why do I keep working at growing UHI? Because I love it. Because I believe in it. Because UHI stimulates my brain, excites my muscles, sharpens my senses, brightens my day and lights up my heart. I want to take the energy of my body and mind along with the potential energy that rests in my business plan and put it to better use; to be a better leader for something that deserves the best leadership. It’s time to raise my game.

It's going to be awfully hard for me to be a leader if I don't do it with Intention. That means I have to target the goals I intend to achieve, and conceive of the followers who can join me to fulfill them for all of us. Then, I have to share the right information with the right people, with the enthusiasm I feel within. If I want to lead UHI better, towards the outcome I imagine, it's imperative for me to have a perpetual, single-minded focus. It’s my task to anticipate and answer the questions the people who work for me don’t even know they have. Without that clarity of purpose, I can’t be the leader I want to be. It’s time to stop being afraid of leadership, of waiting for it to happen. If it’s going to be, it’s up to me. This is my mission, my life, and my company. I know what I want it to bring to the world. Leadership starts with knowing I can’t do it alone. Leadership culminates with achieving the goal with people who say “I did it, too!”