The Something Missing Part
I reread some previous posts, plus my last post that was written over a year ago. I hardly feel like the same person. I feel like I've been gestating so long! Not that I've arrived, but that now, at least, I am born.
It was hard to write the blog, in general. Initially I thought it would be fun. Not so. I wondered about how to make sure I didn't complain about all of the stress...every day...all the time. I felt like what I had to say wouldn't be a blog. It would just be one bitch-session after the next. So, I focused on what was positive or what I was trying to do, and wrote about that. I restrained myself from expressing all of the fear and doubt I had about my business growing, my business problems and challenges. I didn't lie. I just didn't tell both halves of the experience.
I can feel the tension when I read the posts. I feel pain sometimes - just remembering the confusion and sense of restriction and tension.
About four years ago I asked one of my patients (who had a very successful business career) if he could explain what Leaders do. I felt baffled by the question. I thought if I got that answer I'd be in better shape. The funny thing is that he didn't know how to answer - or he did but I didn't know how to hear! It all seemed so fuzzy. I felt silly asking the question, and never asked anyone again. I did end up reading some books on leadership, too, after that. They seemed dry and contrived - or maybe out of my league.
I wrote something on the M3 yahoo group yesterday that was a note-to-self: Struggles don't determine where your business goes. How you respond to them does. As I read it I realized that it sounded like something I could have written about parenting. I've learned alot in parenting that has helped me answer the question about leadership. Leaders have to be incredibly generous. I don't think I knew how generous until I had kids (late in life; my first when I was 41). I don't mean generosity the way it is used in common language - that has to do with giving stuff. When I say generosity I mean a willingness to give, to be magnanimous, to think in terms of bounty, act with nobleness, not to be petty or caught in small mindedness; to create possibilities that are larger, more full and have a greater amplitude than that which exists. To be a leader means to jump into possibilities; it means to be vulnerable and brave at the same time; it means to share the good, and even the bad, sometimes! I thought the struggles would kill me. In fact, they have birthed me - and the business. And leadership.
In the last post I wrote I said I wanted to find out what was missing. I think I have found it when I say 'Leadership'. It's not enough to work, or work hard. I was taught to work hard, and that would be the key to success. I have had to change my thinking about it. I don't believe it anymore. I think the key is to Lead Well.
I love my work. It's not difficult to transform my work into play. It feels natural. It didn't feel natural to lead. Now it is starting to.
It was hard to write the blog, in general. Initially I thought it would be fun. Not so. I wondered about how to make sure I didn't complain about all of the stress...every day...all the time. I felt like what I had to say wouldn't be a blog. It would just be one bitch-session after the next. So, I focused on what was positive or what I was trying to do, and wrote about that. I restrained myself from expressing all of the fear and doubt I had about my business growing, my business problems and challenges. I didn't lie. I just didn't tell both halves of the experience.
I can feel the tension when I read the posts. I feel pain sometimes - just remembering the confusion and sense of restriction and tension.
About four years ago I asked one of my patients (who had a very successful business career) if he could explain what Leaders do. I felt baffled by the question. I thought if I got that answer I'd be in better shape. The funny thing is that he didn't know how to answer - or he did but I didn't know how to hear! It all seemed so fuzzy. I felt silly asking the question, and never asked anyone again. I did end up reading some books on leadership, too, after that. They seemed dry and contrived - or maybe out of my league.
I wrote something on the M3 yahoo group yesterday that was a note-to-self: Struggles don't determine where your business goes. How you respond to them does. As I read it I realized that it sounded like something I could have written about parenting. I've learned alot in parenting that has helped me answer the question about leadership. Leaders have to be incredibly generous. I don't think I knew how generous until I had kids (late in life; my first when I was 41). I don't mean generosity the way it is used in common language - that has to do with giving stuff. When I say generosity I mean a willingness to give, to be magnanimous, to think in terms of bounty, act with nobleness, not to be petty or caught in small mindedness; to create possibilities that are larger, more full and have a greater amplitude than that which exists. To be a leader means to jump into possibilities; it means to be vulnerable and brave at the same time; it means to share the good, and even the bad, sometimes! I thought the struggles would kill me. In fact, they have birthed me - and the business. And leadership.
In the last post I wrote I said I wanted to find out what was missing. I think I have found it when I say 'Leadership'. It's not enough to work, or work hard. I was taught to work hard, and that would be the key to success. I have had to change my thinking about it. I don't believe it anymore. I think the key is to Lead Well.
I love my work. It's not difficult to transform my work into play. It feels natural. It didn't feel natural to lead. Now it is starting to.
posted by Dr. Amelia Case at Wednesday, February 02, 2011
<< Home